How to Support Your Teen through EMDR

What Is EMDR and How Does It Work?

Created in the late 1980s, EMDR uses eye movements, sounds, or taps to stimulate both sides of the brain. It aids in processing traumatic memories.     Here’s a quick rundown of how an EMDR session unfolds:

1. Identification of a target memory. Your teen will identify a disturbing memory to focus on first in EMDR. This is often an early traumatic or stressful event, adding to their depression or PTSD symptoms.

2. Assessment of belief statements. Your teen will talk about their negative beliefs in connection to the memory.  It can sound like     “I’m not lovable.”

3. Desensitization and reprocessing. Your teen will recall the target memory while receiving bilateral stimulation. Like moving their eyes back and forth following the therapist’s fingers. The bilateral stimulation helps your teen reprocess the memory. They do this until the memory becomes less emotionally intense.      

4. Installation of positive belief statements. Your teen will develop a positive self-belief to replace the negative one, such as “I’m worthy of love.” While thinking of this positive belief, they’ll continue bilateral stimulation to deepen learning.

5. Body scan for residual tension. Your teen will scan their body to detect any remaining discomfort related to the memory. If any tension remains, they’ll receive more bilateral stimulation. This continues until the memory feels neutral.

This means that the memory loses its negative power over your teen. EMDR can be used on a group of connected memories. It can then help your teen feel better from depression, PTSD, trauma, and anxiety    

You’ll also be glad to know EMDR is considered very safe for teens. It doesn’t involve any medication or hypnosis. And it gives teens coping tools to deal with hard emotions that come up between sessions.    

How Can You Support Someone in EMDR?

EMDR therapists will instruct you on specific ways you can be helpful to your teen’s treatment. But here are some general tips for providing support before, during and in between EMDR sessions:

• Learn about EMDR. Read up on EMDR so you understand the basics of how and why it works. This will help you discuss it with your teen and feel confident about it.

• Talk about therapy. Ask your teen how they feel about trying EMDR for their depression and let them share any concerns. Don’t pressure them but do emphasize your support.

• Coordinate logistics. Help figure out scheduling and transportation to make getting to therapy seamless. Provide positive reinforcement for consistent attendance.

• Observe safety precautions. If your teen ever feels unsafe or very upset during or after a session, they should tell the therapist immediately and let you know if necessary

• Allow processing time. Some teens need downtime after EMDR to process their thoughts and feelings. Let your teen rest or listen to music if they ask.

• Avoid demanding details. Don’t press your teen to disclose details about the memories and emotions EMDR brings up. This is private therapeutic work.

• Refrain from analyzing. Try not to speculate about the root causes of trauma or attempt to psychoanalyze your teen. Stick to listening and empathizing.

• Use EMDR coping tools. Ask the therapist to teach you some EMDR techniques. This can be things like safe/calm place visualization or bilateral stimulation. You can practice these with your teen between sessions.

• Identify emotional triggers. Pay attention to situations that seem to re-trigger your teen’s trauma-related emotions. Help them use EMDR tools to reduce distress.

• Express pride. Compliment your teen for courageously working to overcome their depression through EMDR.

With your loving support, EMDR can help your teen transform:

• their self-perception

• resolve traumas

• break free from depression.

     You play an integral role in your teen’s healing journey.

Maintaining Progress between EMDR Sessions

To keep your teen’s treatment moving forward between sessions:

• Establish routines. Structure and routine help teens manage depressive symptoms. Encourage regular sleep, meal, and homework schedules.

• Limit media exposure. Monitor social media and news. Protect from influences worsening depression, anxiety or trauma.

• Boost mood through movement. Make physical activity part of your teen’s daily routine. Exercise relieves depression and builds self-esteem.

• Discuss positive memories. Reminiscing about happy memories from your teen’s childhood can foster positive perspectives.

• Practice EMDR techniques. Guide your teen in using EMDR methods like the Safe or Calm Place Exercise. Or Butterfly Hug to calm their nervous system during stressful moments

• Identify emotional triggers. Take note of certain situations like social events or academic pressures. They can trigger depressive episodes and help your teen manage them.

• Communicate with compassion. If your teen expresses negative statements about themselves, counter with loving words. Talk about their strengths and worth.

• Allow time with friends. Social connection is vital for teen mental health. Facilitate safe social activities your teen enjoys.

• Watch for maladaptive behaviors. Seek help from your teen’s providers if you notice harmful behaviors. These include cutting, disordered eating, substance abuse or other harmful coping behaviors.

Healing your hurting teen takes a team effort. With patience and partnership between parents, providers and teens themselves, EMDR therapy can transform depression into joy, trauma into success