5 min read
When a Friend May Be in Crisis
What to do when a friend may be in danger, and why telling an adult is the right move.
If you're here, you're probably worried about someone you care about. That worry matters, and trusting it is the most important thing you can do right now. This page tells you what to do next.
What this can feel like
Maybe a friend said something that scared you. Maybe they've seemed very low, pulled away, or stopped caring about things they used to love. Maybe they told you they don't want to be here anymore, or that they've thought about hurting themselves.
That's a lot to carry. You might be afraid of saying the wrong thing. You might have promised to keep a secret. You might not be sure it's serious enough to tell an adult.
Here's what's true: if you're worried about a friend's safety, it's serious enough. You don't need proof. You don't need to be sure. Being worried is reason enough to act.
What can help today
If you're worried about a friend right now, these are the most important steps.
Tell a trusted adult right away
This is the most important step. A parent, teacher, school counselor, or another adult you trust can help in ways you can't. Telling is not a betrayal, even if your friend asked you not to. You shouldn't have to carry this alone.
Stay with them if you can
If it's safe for you to stay, don't leave your friend alone while you get help. You don't need the right words. Being there counts.
Listen without judging
Let your friend talk if they want to. You don't have to fix anything or have answers. Say things like "I hear you" and "I'm glad you told me." Try not to argue or tell them it isn't that bad.
Call or text 988 together
If your friend is willing, you can contact 988 together. You can also contact them yourself if you're worried and don't know what to do next. It's free, open 24/7, and it's for people who are worried about someone else, too.
Take care of yourself afterward
Helping a friend in crisis is hard. It's okay to feel shaken or scared afterward. Talk to an adult about how you're doing too. You matter in this, not just your friend.
Who you can talk to
You don't have to handle this alone.
Right now: Any trusted adult near you, such as a parent, teacher, school counselor, coach, or neighbor. If your friend is in immediate danger, call 911.
At school: Your school counselor can help with exactly this. You can go to them even if you're not sure how serious it is.
988: Call or text 988 any time, day or night. You can contact them about a friend, and they'll help you work out what to do.
A parent or guardian: Yours or your friend's, depending on the situation. When it's urgent, an adult who can take action matters most.
What you could say
Finding the words is hard. These phrases can help.
When to get more help
Get an adult now, or call 911 if someone is in immediate danger, when your friend:
- Says they want to hurt themselves or don't want to be alive
- Has already hurt themselves
- Talks about a plan to hurt themselves
- Gives away things they care about, or says goodbye in a way that feels final
- Is not responding, or you can't wake them
You don't need all of these signs to act. If something feels wrong, trust that feeling and get an adult involved now. You can also call or text 988 any time, or call the Idaho Youth Ranch Emergency Help Line at 208-322-2308.
24/7 crisis or emergency needs
If your friend is in danger right now, reach out. Call or text 988 any time, or call the Idaho Youth Ranch Emergency Help Line at 208-322-2308. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911.
How Idaho Youth Ranch can help
Idaho Youth Ranch helps young people and families across Idaho. If you or your friend need someone to talk to, talk to our team. If a friend has nowhere safe to stay, Hays House offers emergency shelter.
Emergency shelter at Hays House
Hays House is our emergency shelter in Boise for young people ages 9 to 17 who need a safe place to stay. You can call the help line any time, day or night, or walk in during a crisis.
Call 208-322-2308 (Hays House help line, 24/7)Learn about Hays HouseTalk with a counselor
Want to start counseling or ask about any Idaho Youth Ranch program? Reach out and a team member will follow up with you. You don't need to know which program fits first.
Talk to our teamResidential care
Our residential program serves youth ages 11 to 17. You can call admissions or start an application online. An incomplete application does not disqualify a youth.
Learn about residential careStart an applicationCall admissions: 208-996-2896Safe Place
If you need immediate help and safety, text SAFE and your city, state, or ZIP code to 4HELP (44357). You can also walk into a Safe Place site and tell an employee why you're there. Look for the black-and-yellow diamond sign.
Get help from Safe Place