5 min read
Talking to a Parent or Trusted Adult
How to start the conversation, even when it feels impossible.
Asking for help can feel scary, especially when you can't find the words. You don't have to have it all figured out first. This page gives you words to use and helps you decide who to go to.
What this can feel like
You've been carrying something for a while. Maybe you're stressed, sad, anxious, or just not yourself, and part of you knows talking to someone might help. Then you picture saying it out loud, and it feels like too much.
Maybe you worry the adult won't understand, or won't know what to say. Maybe you're afraid of how they'll react. They might overreact, brush it off, or make things more complicated.
All of that makes sense. It's also true that many adults who care about you want to know when you're struggling, even when it's hard to hear.
What can help today
A few things can make the conversation easier before you start.
Write it down first
Write a few sentences about what you've been feeling. You don't have to share the paper. It just helps you figure out what you want to say. A rough draft in your notes app works.
Pick a calm moment
Skip the rush before school or the middle of a busy dinner. A car ride, a walk, or a quiet evening at home can make it easier to start.
Start smaller than you think
You don't have to explain everything at once. "I've been having a hard time lately and I wanted to talk to you" is enough. The rest can come out as you go.
Give them a heads-up
You can say, "Can we find some time to talk this week? There's something on my mind." That gives the other person time to get ready to listen.
It's okay if it comes out messy
You don't have to say it perfectly. "I don't know how to explain this" is a real way to start. An adult who cares will work with whatever you give them.
Who you can talk to
A trusted adult doesn't have to be a parent. It can be any adult who makes you feel safe and heard.
At home: A parent, stepparent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, or another family member you trust.
At school: A school counselor, a teacher you feel comfortable with, a coach, or a school nurse. You can ask a counselor for a private meeting.
Outside home and school: A family friend, a neighbor you've known for years, a faith leader, a mentor, or a doctor or therapist. A parent or school counselor can help you reach a therapist.
If home doesn't feel safe: Look for the black and yellow Safe Place diamond sign, or text SAFE to 4HELP (44357) anywhere in Idaho. You can also call or text 988.
If the first adult you tell doesn't respond the way you hoped, asking still wasn't wrong. Try another person.
What you could say
Borrow these words, change them, or use them as they are. There's no perfect way to say this.
When to get more help
It's always okay to talk to an adult, no matter how big or small it feels. Make it a priority if:
- You've felt this way for more than a few weeks
- It's affecting your sleep, school, friendships, or daily life
- You feel like you have no one to talk to
- Things feel like they're getting worse, not better
- You've had thoughts of hurting yourself or not wanting to be here
If you're not ready to talk to someone you know, call or text 988. It's free and open 24/7. You can also talk to our team about counseling.
24/7 crisis or emergency needs
If things feel urgent right now, or you're having thoughts of hurting yourself, please reach out. Call or text 988 any time, or call the Idaho Youth Ranch Emergency Help Line at 208-322-2308.
How Idaho Youth Ranch can help
Idaho Youth Ranch offers therapy for young people ages 9 to 24 in Boise, Caldwell, and Coeur d'Alene, and online across Idaho. Talk to our team to get started. For residential care, you can begin the admission application or call 208-996-2896.
Emergency shelter at Hays House
Hays House is our emergency shelter in Boise for young people ages 9 to 17 who need a safe place to stay. You can call the help line any time, day or night, or walk in during a crisis.
Call 208-322-2308 (Hays House help line, 24/7)Learn about Hays HouseTalk with a counselor
Want to start counseling or ask about any Idaho Youth Ranch program? Reach out and a team member will follow up with you. You don't need to know which program fits first.
Talk to our teamResidential care
Our residential program serves youth ages 11 to 17. You can call admissions or start an application online. An incomplete application does not disqualify a youth.
Learn about residential careStart an applicationCall admissions: 208-996-2896Safe Place
If you need immediate help and safety, text SAFE and your city, state, or ZIP code to 4HELP (44357). You can also walk into a Safe Place site and tell an employee why you're there. Look for the black-and-yellow diamond sign.
Get help from Safe Place