The simple fact is that young people are more likely to grow up happy, healthy, and successfully able to take care of themselves when they have positive relationships with important people in their lives called “Developmental Relationships.”
Development relationships are close connections with peers, family, and adults which help the child discover their own identity, cultivate life-skills, and learn how to engage with and contribute to the world around them.A recent study by Search Institute showed 20 specific actions that make relationships powerful for young people.
It is important to remember that a relationship with a child is still a relationship. The things we do for children are not all that different than the things we should do in our relationships with other adults. The difference is that with children, honesty, trust, and support helps them define their sense of self-worth and value. Adults can do this in a variety of ways.
When you have children in your life, the simplest and most important thing you can do for them is let them see that they matter to you.
Personal growth and resilience comes from healthy conflict or “positive stress.” Pushing the kids in your life to grow and improve doesn’t mean that you tell them your love, support, and approval depends on them attaining accolades. It just means that you help them reach their potential through positive support.
You can do this by:
It is important to show support to kids. They are just learn their place in the world and trying to navigate through it. They need your support to learn how to handle difficult situations, develop confidence, and learn how to manage stress in healthy ways.
Adults can provide support by:
The relationship you have with your children is unique among relationships in your life because there is such a huge difference in the power dynamic. Few other relationships will have such a unbalanced power dynamic, so it is important to give kids some power in the relationship so that they can learn how to make decisions and life skills.
You can do this by:
One of the best things you can do for kids is help them to see what’s possible and help them have expectations for themselves and their futures. Help them connect the choices they make today with a bright, promising future by connecting them with people and places that broaden their horizons.
Do this by:
If you need help strengthening your relationship with your child(ren), Idaho Youth Ranch can help.
We offer proven therapies for families, kids, and groups that help bring young people and their parents back together with trauma-informed, compassionate support.