No one likes a micromanager--and that includes kids! Adults can understand how frustrating and damaging a micromanager can be, yet most parents micromanage their children heavily and fail to see why kids grow up to be resentful in the aftermath.
Raising capable kids is actually a lot like being a good manager. You need to provide direction and accountability, but you also need to give your kids room to learn, grow, make mistakes, and succeed. Creating goals, guidelines, and expectations for children is only the first half the battle--and many would argue the easiest half!. The second half is giving kids the freedom to figure out how to achieve their goals on their own--which can sometimes involve making mistakes along the way.
While it’s important not to overwhelm kids with too much information for their maturity or age, it’s just as critical not to “dumb things down” or oversimplifying things because of a belief that your child won’t--or can’t understand. Your child might not have the experience or insight you do, but most adults underestimate children’s ability to understand situations and concepts. Speaking to your child respectfully and without condescension or patronizing will establish a relationship of mutual respect and help your child feel valued and capable of understanding.
Momsplaining and dadsplaining is a bad habit that many parents fall into, often out of good intentions to guide a child and help him or her succeed. However, having faith in your child’s ability to learn and understand, and relinquishing some control by allowing your child to learn, grow, and even make mistakes is the best way to help him or her succeed in life.
Interested in what you see here? Idaho Youth Ranch offers parenting classes to help parents develop skills to build and maintain positive relationships with their kids. Join our parenting gurus for this series where you can learn skills, ask questions, and have discussions in a non-judgmental, relaxed environment.