Resilience refers to the ability to recover from adverse events and cope with life’s stressors. Resilient kids tend to have higher self-esteem, take more healthy risks, and problem solve successfully.
But research shows that resilience isn’t inherently a fixed entity, meaning that children can learn and strengthen this skill over time.1 As a parent, here are some tips for you to consider.
Children thrive with routine because it feels safe and predictable. As a result, you should aim to be a consistent role model in your child’s life. Ideally, they should know what to expect from you. If you’re dismissive one day but incredibly attentive the next, this disparity can be confusing.
Consistency also means staying true to your boundaries and share your reasoning with your child if they ask about certain rules. It’s okay if you decide to change your mind, but try to avoid going back and forth too many times on a particular topic.
Even if it’s tempting, try to avoid hovering or doing tasks for your child. Children need continuous exposure to moving outside of their everyday comfort zone. Having practice sharpens their creativity and reinforces critical thinking.
You can encourage independence by:
Let your child know their feelings matter. Avoid shaming, judging, or dismissing these emotions, even if you don’t fully understand them.
If you need clarification about how they might feel, just ask! From there, try to practice empathy and imagine how you might feel in that certain situation.
While you don’t want to see your child in pain, rushing to solve their problems can foster excess dependence and helplessness. Instead, try to practice validation and questioning rather than problem-solving. For example, try these scripts:
Gratitude has profound effects on mental health. Gratitude can make difficult obstacles feel more manageable, and it may also boost your child’s self-esteem and relationships.
To help your child harness thankfulness, you can model how you practice gratitude during hard times. You can also encourage a daily gratitude exercise where you all share positive moments with one another at dinner or on the way to school.
We can all strengthen how we cope with difficult times. Therapy can be an important part of building resilience, especially if a child has faced trauma or struggles with a mental health condition. Contact us today to schedule a consultation.