Unfortunately, it is easier than ever for kids and teens to bully their peers. In this digital world, bullies can say something harmful without having to see the physical reactions of their victim or visually experience the effects of their words. To understand the injustice more fully, we first have to admit it exists, educate ourselves, and then take actions to prevent and protect the children in our care.
Cyberbullying is a form of emotional bullying that takes place entirely online and/or through devices such as phones, computers, and gaming consoles. It is typically meant to humiliate, embarrass, or discourage others by sharing personal or private information, or by degrading another person. Cyberbullying is considered to be unlawful and/or criminal in some states and in some instances; however, cyberbullying is still a major problem.
Oftentimes, cyberbullying happens privately through text messages, messaging apps, or email, but many times it plays out on a more public platform such as social media where there is maximum fallout.
To identify cyberbullying, you should understand the tactics used to harm the victims. Many of these you’ll recognize as the digital equivalent of bullying that occurs offline. Some tactics include:
Here are some examples of cyberbullying tactics in action:
Some statistics show that as many as 50% of children have experienced cyberbullying.
Victims of cyberbullying can experience wide-ranging effects, including mental health issues, poor academic performance, a desire to drop out of school, and even suicidal ideation.
Bullies themselves are also at an increased risk of issues such as substance abuse and experiencing violence.
Bottom line? When it comes to cyberbullying, everybody loses. So, what can you do to help your child?
As a parent, your child is like your heart running around outside your body. You are probably always thinking about how you can better prepare and protect your child. But maybe you’re wondering if your child is the one hurting the hearts of others.
Whether you are a parent looking to educate and protect your child because they are in harm’s way or because they may be doing the harming (which can have its own lasting negative impact on both parties), there are actions you can take.
We’ve all heard the saying by now: “If you see something, say something.” Teaching your child to identify cyberbullying and to report it will help prevent expressions of prejudice and hate. It also teaches your child to stand up to against bullies in their lives and the lives of those around them. As a parent, you may be fearful of backlash for reporting these things. If that’s the case, encourage your child to report things in a way you feel is appropriate and has minimal-to-no backlash, such as anonymous reporting.
It can be scary to speak up for someone being bullied, and it can be hard to know what to do if they themselves are being bullied. Your child can practice being aware and reporting starting now—it may even be good to role play or ask your child what they would do in certain situations.
Here are some practical steps children can take to deal with cyberbullying, according to Laura Tierney of The Social Institute:
When it comes to advising children about bullying situations, parents should consider the specific role their child is playing. Depending on their child's role, parents can offer tailored advice to help navigate the situation effectively. Understanding that creating a safe environment is the responsibility of everyone, parents can empower their children to take positive actions that can help put an end to instances of cruelty.
For instance, if a child finds themselves as the target of bullying, parents can advise them to stay calm and seek assistance from a trusted adult or authority figure. They can encourage their child to report the bullying incidents, provide evidence if possible, and make it clear that seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a courageous step towards ensuring their own well-being.
On the other hand, if a child witnesses someone else being bullied, parents can guide them to act as supportive bystanders. They can stress the importance of not participating or encouraging the bullying behavior and instead, urging their child to intervene in a safe and non-confrontational manner. This can include reaching out to the victim, offering comforting words, and reporting the incident to a teacher or any available authority figure.
Furthermore, in the case where a child unknowingly becomes a bystander in online bullying by witnessing or receiving hurtful comments or humiliating content, parents can advise them not to forward or share such material. They can emphasize the importance of responsible digital behavior and encourage their child to flag the content or report it to the appropriate platform.
Ultimately, parents should emphasize to their children that their actions can make a difference in stopping the escalation of cruelty. By instilling a sense of responsibility and empathy, parents can help their children understand that their role in promoting a safe environment involves actively advocating against bullying, supporting those who are targeted, and taking measures to prevent the spread of harm.
Parents should intervene in a cyberbullying situation when they become aware that their child is being targeted, even if their child has not disclosed it. It is common for children to feel embarrassed or ashamed about being cyberbullied, and they may fear that involving their parents will worsen the situation. Therefore, parents need to proactively communicate with their child and create a safe and supportive environment where their child feels comfortable discussing any experiences of cyberbullying.
To determine the appropriate course of action, parents should engage in open and honest conversations with their child, gathering more information about the situation. Collaboratively, they can work out a plan of action that addresses the cyberbullying incident effectively. It is crucial for parents and their child to agree on what outcomes they want to achieve, ensuring that the child feels empowered and involved in resolving the issue.
It is essential for parents not to rush into a solution, as research suggests that peer support plays a significant role in combating cyberbullying. Bullies often attempt to isolate their victims, making it crucial for children to rally around and support each other. Parents should encourage their child to reach out to friends for support and guidance, as this can greatly undermine the power of the bully.
However, if the cyberbullying situation poses any tangible threats to the safety of the child, it is imperative to involve the appropriate authorities immediately. The safety and well-being of the child should always be the top priority, and any instances where harm or danger are a possibility require swift action.
In summary, parents should intervene in a cyberbullying situation when they become aware of it, regardless of whether their child has disclosed it. By engaging in open conversations, creating a plan of action together, encouraging peer support, and prioritizing their child's safety, parents can effectively address cyberbullying and support their child through this challenging experience.
Empowering children to take positive actions plays a crucial role in cultivating a safe online culture. By instilling in them the understanding that creating a secure environment is a shared responsibility, we enable them to make a difference. Through education and encouragement, children are empowered to take proactive steps such as reporting instances of bullying, bringing attention to hurtful online comments, and abstaining from disseminating embarrassing photos. By taking these actions, they can effectively put an end to the perpetuation of cruelty, helping to break the cycle and foster a safer online community. This empowerment allows children to actively contribute to combating online negativity and ultimately promotes the creation of a positive and secure online culture for all.
As a parent, you have the right to monitor your child online or to have access to their devices. We highly recommend you do so for their protection (and potentially to protect others). Nick Wingfield of the New York Times has some good things to say on this topic in his article Should You Spy on Your Kids.
A Pew Research Center survey of adults with children 13 to 17 years old, published this year, found:
If you’re one of those parents, now you know you aren’t alone.
Be open with your children about monitoring their social media use and online activities, and encourage them to share what they're doing with you. Learn about the different sites, apps, and platforms they use -- these change in popularity often, so do your homework every so often.
Check out our list of social media apps you as a parent should watch out for.
Learn more about how social media impacts self-esteem.
One of the greatest disappointments and causes of sadness for parents is the knowledge that their own child is causing harm to others. It's important to address your child's behavior as soon as you learn about it. Many parents instinctually want to deny that their child could be causing harm, but denying or ignoring the problem will only cause additional problems. Get all the information you can about any incidents and talk to your child about what happened.
Is your child the bully? If you know they are, rest assured that we can help you and them if you are in Idaho.