DBT Skills Every Parent of a Teenager Should Know

Navigating the teenage years can be challenging for both parents and adolescents. Emotional ups and downs, mood swings, and sometimes risky behaviors can make this period overwhelming. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a proven treatment method that can help parents of teenagers manage these challenges effectively. In this blog post, we’ll explore eight essential DBT skills that every parent should know and provide practical examples of how to apply these skills in everyday situations with your teenager.

Mindfulness

The practice of mindfulness involves being fully present in the moment and paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations without judgment. Teaching your teenager mindfulness techniques can help them develop greater self-awareness and emotional regulation.

Practical Example: Encourage your teen to practice mindful breathing when they’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed. This can be as simple as taking five deep breaths, or inhaling for four counts and then exhaling for four counts. You can also practice mindful eating by encouraging your teen to focus on the taste, texture, and aroma of their food during mealtime.

Distress Tolerance

Teenagers often face stressful situations that can trigger strong emotions, making it difficult for them to cope. Distress tolerance skills help individuals tolerate and survive crises without resorting to destructive behaviors.

Practical Example: Teach your teenager the STOP skill: Stop, Take a Step Back, Observe, and Proceed Mindfully. When your teen is feeling overwhelmed or tempted to engage in risky behavior, encourage them to pause, assess the situation, and make a mindful decision about how to proceed.

Emotion Regulation

Adolescents can experience intense emotions, which can sometimes lead to impulsive decisions and risky behaviors. Emotion regulation skills help individuals recognize, understand, and manage their emotions in a healthy way.

Practical Example: Encourage your teenager to keep a daily emotions journal. Have them note their emotions throughout the day, along with the situations that triggered those emotions. This practice can help your teen identify patterns and develop strategies for managing their emotions more effectively.

Interpersonal Effectiveness

Developing healthy relationships is crucial for teenagers, as it can significantly impact their mental health and overall well-being. Interpersonal effectiveness skills help individuals build and maintain positive relationships by effectively communicating their needs, setting boundaries, and resolving conflicts.

Practical Example: Role-play with your teenager to help them practice assertive communication. For example, if your teen is having trouble with a friend or teacher, help them rehearse a conversation where they calmly express their feelings, needs, and boundaries.

Validation

Validation is a crucial skill that can help parents build stronger connections with their teenagers. It involves acknowledging and accepting your teen’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences without judgment or criticism.

Practical Example: When your teenager shares their concerns or emotions with you, make sure to actively listen, empathize, and acknowledge their feelings. For example, you might say, “I can see how that situation would be really frustrating for you.”

Self-Soothing

Teaching your teenager self-soothing techniques can help them manage stress and negative emotions independently. These skills involve using comforting activities or sensory experiences to calm oneself during difficult moments.

Practical Example: Encourage your teen to develop a “self-soothing kit” that contains items they find comforting, such as a soft blanket, calming music, or a favorite book. When they feel overwhelmed, they can turn to this kit to help them cope.

Radical Acceptance

Radical acceptance is the practice of fully accepting reality as it is, even when it’s painful or challenging. This skill can help your teenager cope with difficult situations and emotions more effectively by reducing the emotional suffering that comes from resisting or denying reality.

Practical Example: If your teenager is struggling with a difficult situation, such as a breakup or a failed test, encourage them to practice radical acceptance. Help them recognize and acknowledge the reality of the situation and their emotions without judgment or blame. For example, you might say, “It’s natural to feel sad or disappointed about this situation, but denying it or dwelling on it won’t change what happened. By accepting it, we can start to move forward and find ways to cope.”

Wise Mind

Wise Mind is a DBT concept that encourages individuals to find a balance between their rational, logical thinking (Reasonable Mind) and their emotional, intuitive thinking (Emotional Mind). By accessing their Wise Mind, teenagers can make more balanced and effective decisions, especially during challenging moments.

Practical Example: When your teenager is facing a tough decision or struggling with strong emotions, encourage them to pause and reflect on both their rational thoughts and their emotional feelings. Ask them to consider the pros and cons of different options, as well as the potential consequences of each choice. This approach can help them access their Wise Mind and make more thoughtful decisions.

By incorporating these eight essential DBT skills into your parenting toolbox, you can better support your teenager as they navigate the challenges of adolescence. These skills can help foster open communication, emotional resilience, and healthy decision-making, ultimately promoting a stronger parent-teen relationship. Remember that Idaho Youth Ranch offers expert teen counseling and support for vulnerable adolescents facing mental health challenges. For more information on our services, please visit youthranch.org/teencounseling and https://www.youthranch.org/gethelp.